Monday, March 12, 2012

Heartbroken. Here is a real slice of life.

My son Kobe is 13 now. Last summer he said, "Mom, I would like to spend more time with Dad. I want to live with him and come here every other weekend." Oh man! That killed me. :( I have dealt with it since then. The most hurtful part of it is that he has spent more time with his step mom than me. The worst though is that I and others have caught her saying things like, "My son Kobe..." Okay, she is his STEP mom; I get that. But she is NOT his mother. I am a good mom who works hard for my kids. Kobe is my baby and I am jealous for my children. Shouldn't every mother bear be? To make it worse, his dad has been working second shift for the last three months so I have tried to insist he stay with me during the week now. He still wants to go to his Dads and stay through the week. :'( I have tried to give it to God and pray but it hurts so bad. I have thought about making him stay with me, but that will only make him resent me. How do I release this and heal from it? Kobe acts like it is no big deal. He even bypassed me on Valentines and gave a Carnation to her after one of his wrestling meets. The team got them to give to their mothers. HELP!

5 comments:

  1. Oh, my heart is breaking for you. I'm so sorry about the situation you're in. It sounds like you are really trying to make this work for Kobe, even though it is so awful for you. Even though he will realize at some point what a wonderful thing you have done, it doesn't take the sting out of this right now. Keep your chin up and keep loving him as you are.

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  2. This is a tough one. I have been in your son's shoes. Believe me it is as difficult for the child as it is the grown-ups. You are respecting his wishes...I believe one day, he will remember this...be patient. You are so brave to share your post. I hope writing it down helped you process.

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  3. Amy, I read your slice and I feel your pain. It is so difficult raising teenagers today. You are doing your best and respecting Kobe's wishes and showing him your love. The day will come when he will come back into your life - keep the faith and believe. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

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  4. I was heartbroken as I read your slice. I hate to admit it, but even though my sons are 35 and 33, I'm jealous of how much time they spend with my ex's girlfriend. I worry that they will become closer to her than to me. That would kill me so I understand what you're feeling. I agree with the other commenters, Kobe knows you're his MOTHER, and he will come back to you. For now, just try to enjoy the time you and he spend together.

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  5. Thank you for all of the wise counsel and support. Blogging has been a wonderful experience in more ways than I thought it would be. God bless.

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